Dreams and Chaos
by Kelandra Surisha
Summary: Trunks and Pan were happy and nothing could destroy that. But when destruction seems all too real, Pan must make the biggest decision of her life, leave everything or live with the consequences.
1. Default Chapter

Alright, due to popular (well I hope popular demand) I have rereleased a story I had under an old alias of mine (Katie2). This story was always a favorite of mine (it has been removed from my old alias due to the fact that I wanted to post it here so I removed it). I wanted to revamp it an rerelease it because I had a story line I wanted to finish but due to personal issues I got caught up and couldn't get it done.

But I'm going to finish it this time! =) Expect a chapter every day, every two days at latest until all the old chapters are revamped and released. So far there are eleven chapter, ten to be rereleased. This was a fairly popular story 100 reviews when I originally wrote it (umm...three years ago...sighs).

I don't own Dragonball Z/GT blah blah blah...

Anyways I hope you enjoy. **_Please_ read and review**.

**Dreams and Chaos**  
By Kelandra Surisha

**Chapter One: Fires Twixt Heaven**

Pan stretched lazily and stood shaking the light layer of dew that covered her fairly uncovered features. She smiled and took a deep breathe of her surroundings. The deep scent of sweet pines filled her body, caressing her insides with its sweet aroma of heaven.

She smiled and sat up gazing dreamily around her. This was the type of place that she had only visited in her dreams. But this was no dream today. It was the place that she had always wished to be in. To be free from the gilded cage of the world, hide away from the deep forever threat of war. The place where she can finally be free to be herself, without anyone to push her into being something she wasn't.

A slight feeling of relief swept over her as she finally realized the truth of this place. She was free.

She stood and walked slowly over towards the natural fountain of water pooling down from the cliffs above. She slowly walked behind it ending up on the other side of the riverbank. Her cool wet hair stuck to her skin and her white bra clung tightly to her body. Usually she would feel uncomfortable wearing only a white bra and torn off blue jeans, but not today, not here. She shrugged and pushed herself into the cool pool away from the waterfall that had dampened her already. She felt a cool shudder go through her as her body adjusted to the temperature of the cool mountain river.

She relaxed and let the quiet current pull her lazily down the river slowly at first and get stronger as the water began to get shallower. She pushed her legs downwards feeling the bottom of the riverbed. She felt cool sharp rocks push themselves against her feet, trying profusely to break the skin. She pushed away from the rocks and put her might into swimming back up stream to wear it was deep. It wasn't too hard; the current wasn't strong in this little forgotten stream, a little piece of the Earth's early taste of heaven.

Pan felt all her worries flee from her as she finally let herself go from the world, letting her memories and thoughts push away.

It was good to be away from it all. It was nice to have a long break from reality, the reality that was so painful and hard that it could break even the strongest of souls into defeat. It could only be her crucial reality that could do something so horrible, that nothing could ever go right.

Nothing seemed important to Pan anymore. Nothing but relaxing in that cool pool of calmly shifting waters washing over her tired body, hitting her head and slowly curling down the rest of her body, caressing every inch that was her being, making it's cool way into her soul. She felt inner peace as she began to slowly sink to the calm bottom of the river…

Gasping and sputtering was heard as Pan came back to the surface a minute later. She had found herself half conscious on the bottom of the rushing riverbed, asleep in the calm swirling of blue abyss. She came sprawling forwards onto the side of the riverbank collapsing untidily onto the soft green grass of the crisp, dew-covered field. She relaxed as she steadied her breathing once more. She had to be careful of that. It was so peaceful that she could sleep anywhere in that cool little piece of unforgotten heaven. She smiled as she dug her face into the soft spikes of the fresh grass. She took in the deep scent of the dew covered grass and the deep caressing scent of the pines and relaxed once again, finding the grips of dark sleep creeping up upon her and crawling slowly into her eyelids, pulling them shut.

_--------------------------_

_The harsh aroma of smoke filled Pan's nostrils, choking her breathing into gasps. She came to spluttering on the ground scrounging for breath. She crawled lazily across the ground trying to escape the heat. No matter how fast she moved it kept reaching out to her like a demon from the deepest pits of hell. It latched out and pinned her to the ground as flames slowly came towards her, readying themselves to poor over her pale, white skin and dark ebony black hair._

_Helplessness swept over Pan as she pulled herself up into a tight ball, covering her face and hands from the flames. She felt herself begin to rack with sobs, uncontrollable sobs that controlled her whole being. Death was the meaning of her sobs, so much death surrounding her. Sharp screams went out and were silenced as new ones began. Showing that many were dying at the hands of the dark blood red pieces of hell._

_"Leave them alone!" she cried trying to pull herself to her feet. She felt the flames engulf her and push her back to the ground gasping for breath as smoke filled her nostrils and down to her lungs. "Please leave them alone!"_

_"You have only brought it upon yourself and everyone else in this world!" she heard something cry; she turned and gazed up into the flames. She could have sworn she gazed upon a woman covered with dark black, draping coat, and black flowing pants and black shoes. She had a long rimed black hat the sheltered her face. Pan heard a loud laugh escape the lips of the dark figure and more screams escaped from the invisible people around her. She felt pain course through her body and she let out a sharp painful scream and many whimpers._

_"Please leave them alone…" she begged and tried profusely to get up. Once again as the smoke filled her nostrils, throat and lungs she felt herself collapse and finally this time it took it's toll on poor Pan, leaving her defenceless and out cold._

_--------------------------_

Pan shot up breathing hard. She gazed furiously around her searching for the flames and peeling her ears to hear the loud screams of the poor people.

But no sounds and sites came to her. All she saw was the soft fall of the river's fountain, the water fall, and the soft grove of trees that connected to the deep forest. All she heard was the soft, relaxing, sound of the collapsing of the falling water upon the slowly seeping river.

Pan felt a tremor of relief flow through her as she pulled herself into a tight ball letting out a few low whimpers remembering the dreadful dream, no not a dream, a nightmare. She felt tears flow freely down her cheeks and she pulled her body even tighter to her legs.

"It can't happen…" she whispered. "It wont happen…I wont let the flames be once again…"

Pan softly let her left hand go letting it seep lazily through the grass. She stopped when the soft caressing touch of her fingers rested on soft metal.

She gripped the metal tightly in her grasp and pulled it into her body. She gazed upon the soft metal of gold, which was shaped as a heart lying upon a gold necklace. She popped open the soft gold heart and gazed upon the picture inside. It was a black and white picture of a young couple with their arms encircled around each other. She smiled as she gazed upon the faces, their happy faces; the woman was herself and the man, her one true love, Trunks. But they were not meant to be, she was not meant to be with anyone. But Trunks, he had so many women he could be with, he had millions to choose from, she had no man but him. She felt the fear of being alone grip her as silent tears rolled down her cheeks and onto the locket. She gazed sadly upon the inscription "The joys in the ride".

"Trunks I love you. Baby I'm sorry but this is for the best." Pan closed the locket silently and fastened it about her neck. "It's for the best."

**End of Chapter One**

Did you like it? I hope so. I did a lot of revamping to it since I originally released it and I'm proud of it. =).

Please review, I would love to hear your thoughts. Or e-mail me, I always love to receive e-mail from people.

Anyways I'm off. Have a good night (or day or whatever...=P)

-Kelandra Surisha


	2. Chapter Two

Dreams and Chaos 

By Kelandra Surisha

Chapter Two – Running Ragged 

Pan silently stroked her hair back and into a pony tale, keeping it untidily away from her face. She grimaced as she stared at her reflection in the river, face stricken with grief, sorrow, and worry, her face stricken with tears.

She had tried her best to be one at her little piece of heaven. There she had the beautiful calm waters of her own protected river, buried away from the naked eye. She had the toppling waters from the cliffs above and the beautiful scent of wild pines surrounding her and caressing her insides. But even all of this, beautiful and undisturbed by humans was not enough to calm her restless, worried soul.

She found it relaxing there, so relaxing that she often drifted off into soft slumber, only to awaken an hour later to the same nightmare, the same dreaded nightmare.

Running away to here wasn't going to solve anything. She must be farther away, away from her family, her friends, her love, and away from her fears of causing chaos and corruption for everything and everyone.

She couldn't carry the weight of millions of deaths upon her shoulders, not for a moment let alone a lifetime.

So she had run. She run as fast as she could from the place of peace, the soft place of the Earth's selected heaven, her safest haven.

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A soft cold feeling surged through Pan as she pushed the water over her dirty face. She leaned over the sink staring angrily at the drain plug cursing at it for no apparent reason. She wiped her face quickly and glanced up into the mirror at the wicked reflection.

Pan only saw, as she looked into the mirror, a weak wicked person. She was dirty and ragged, smelling of sweat and beer. Pan felt her disgrace as she stared into her dark cold eyes, afraid of what she had become. What would everyone think of her now?

Pan turned sharply to go to bed, catching her locket and necklace on the hard, cold, metal faucet slitting her throat lightly, leaving a small bleeding gash. She cursed at the stupid faucet and held a cloth to her neck to stop the bleeding. Luckily it was only a small gash.

"Damn," she cursed kicking her foot against the post that held up the sink, denting it slightly before kicking off her shoes and heading back to her dank stained bed.

She relaxed lazily on the bed listening to the soft sounds of the people in the other rooms around her. As offal a motel as this was it was cheap. She had to save every penny for her journey to get away.

She could hear a soft voice on the radio playing a soft country song. She could hear the words fill her in the deepest cavities of her being and emanate into her soul.

_Love lift me away from here,_

_I don't want to feel alone anymore_

_Keep me safe, your arms I'll be in tonight_

Take me home, away from the loneliness inside 

Pan bit her lip strongly, closing her eyes, trying profusely to block out the sound. What did the singer know of pain? What did she know of torment?

How she longed to call out again, reach for the hand the searched for her touch.

Whisper sweetly, I miss you all the more I don't want to without you anymore 

_I feel numb without your touch_

_I feel cold without my heart_

Trunks…she found herself whisper sweetly his name as though the wind that whipped over her face through the small crack in the window would carry her voice to him. How she wanted to go home again, see her father, feel her mother, kiss her lover, talk to her friends. It had been three months, three months without a phone call or a letter to say she'd be okay. She hadn't wanted a thing.

Not until now.

As she glanced over at the bedside digital alarm/radio and emitted the softest song that seemed to ache at ever crevasse of her soul, tare her closer to the phone, she reached over and shut it off, pushing her head back onto the pillows.

She couldn't, no matter what the song said.

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The next morning Pan awoke and packed her bag, leaving nothing behind her but the dusty old motel room and the scourging of the mice that had made themselves holes in the walls and floor panels.

Pan slowly slinked towards the exit of the motel, which was through the dusty dark bar that she had spent most of the evening in the night before. She ran quickly through the dusky bar trying hard to reach the exit before anyone saw her leave. She had almost made it to the exit when a sharp hand gripped her wrist and held her back.

"Ya travlin' by yaself missy?" a strange voice asked. Pan turned her head to face the man behind her; he was a small man, an American it seemed by his thick southern accent. He had dark skin with short black curly hair that seemed to end in no place in particular an in a very uneven manor. He wore a slinky brown hat, many sizes too big for him with on over sized brown overcoat, which were too many sizes too large.

"I ask if ya travelin' by ya lonesome?" he said sharply glaring at young Pan.

The old man's breath stunk of beer and cigarettes. She held her breath trying not to smell the horrid scent. By the scent of his breath and the mistakes in his grammar and speech she could tell he was drunk, probably been drunk for almost the whole night.

But even though being drunk his eyes shone with light and wisdom to fit his many years.

"Ya."

"Whatcha doin' travelin' all by yaself?"

"Nothing." She answered coolly trying to pull her wrist away.

"Nottins a drag kid He responded, "Iye can see by yar eyes that ya have many a worry. You shoudn have em. Dun worry so much." Pan felt the grip on her wrist loosening and she pulled again. "Next time ya round here drop by and listen to one of my sermons on Sundays. But next time don't ya come on ya lonesome. Ya hear?" he smiled. "Iye can tell by yar eyes ya ain't gonna. Ya tink Iye'm some drunken old priest who doesn't know what Iye'm talkin' about, but girl Iye can tell ya Iye do. Doin' nuttin' by ya lonesome is a drag. At least do nuttin' with suuumone."

Pan felt a soft warmth glow from that man.

"Thank-you." She said kindly to the old man's words and voice that seemed to stumble and drag in all the wrong places and focus on all the wrong syllables.

"Ya welcome."

Pan pulled her wrist away and began to walk towards the exit again, flicking her room key at the desk.

"Remember what Iye said kid!" came the voice of the old priest.

Her smile faded and she didn't say a thing to the old man as she exited the hotel. Finally she spoke, again to herself as she headed towards her old green station wagon rental car. "It's for people like you I'm doing this. I haven't chosen my destiny, it chose me." She turned and gazed back at the old motel and pushed her bag into the old rental car and pushed herself in along with it and slowly driving away. "No destiny didn't choose it, my heart did. If I didn't care so damn much!" she hit her hand hard against the dashboard careful not to break anything. "I shouldn't care about this all! Damn my heart! Damn my heart for loving Trunks so much that I would give it all up! Damn it!" she felt hot tears roll down her cheeks and she whipped them away quickly concentrating on the road once more.

Pan knew that she had once had a choice. She had a choice to ignore the powerful dreams and wait for them to go away, or take them seriously and leave. She knew either way would be a sin. 

A sin if she stayed and put everyone in danger, but a sin if she left and destroyed the heart of Trunks, the one whom she thought, or at least hoped had loved her, destroying the hearts of her parents, destroying the hearts of her friends, destroying her own heart as well. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't justify either choice.

Pan raced over her decision in her mind trying to figure out if it had been the right thing to do. Had it or had it not?

She would have destroyed the lives of billions, but saved her own by staying with her love, or save the lives of many and leaving the heart of her love.

She knew the decision was hard, but she knew from the very beginning what she had to do.

Trunks' heart would heal in time and hers would always remain the same, a broken piece of its former glory…but at least…at least she had his future in tact.

So she turned her back on love.

Pan relaxed lightly back in her seat as she felt herself go weak. She pulled over quickly at the first rest stop she could find and began to weep for the first time since she had left Trunks in the middle of the night those fateful months ago. She had left it all behind for a stupid dream. A stupid nightmare!

It took an hour for her to cry all of her tears away, all of the tears that had been waiting to be unleashed since the beginning of her journey.

Pan listened to the soft sniffles and the low crying moans coming from her and she cursed herself aloud for being so selfish. "GOD PAN! YOU'VE SAVED THEM ALL! STOP BEING LIKE THIS!" she snapped angrily. She turned the ignition quickly without another word and headed out once again.

But still the hours of hostility driving on the highway mumbling things to herself couldn't stop her from thinking that that was the last chance she would ever have, and that some how it was the wrong thing to do. But her heart betrayed her again, her damn compassionate heart.

Pan finally relaxed once again and stared up at the dark midnight sky for a moment and then back onto the road as she gazed upon the next neon lights of another cheap motel. She'd been driving for hours and she needed to stop.

"I'm sorry Trunks," she said silently as she pulled into the parking lot, off the highway for another night. "This isn't Eden I've pulled into,"

End of Chapter 2


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